Exegesis
I look at my year old posts and feel like they were written by someone else for someone else. For me, writing is as much an instrument for doing the inner work as it is a creative outlet and a way of starting the conversations that I want to have. It also functions as a record that I make publicly available as a way of holding my feet to the fire, so to speak. At the very least I can look at my old writings as a kind of self-awareness inducing mirror. A long time ago I thought that I had to preserve them because they were precious. Now I just curate them for their sentimental value.
In terms of the inner work, the content is in a state of constant flux. There is no form or substance to grasp and hold on to. Words become stale as soon as they leave the mouth. Words lose their explanatory power when removed from their original dialectic context. I cannot emphasize enough that these writings are not some kind of roadmap or teaching. Nor are they an attempt to prove something. The proof would be in the pudding, so to speak. And if you haven't had yours, how will you know?
A lot of my writing tends to be about the nature of reality or mind and consciousness. I am often channeling this information out of what feels like a different space. A space removed from the world of human senses and perception ... a sort of noumenal void. I read some of it and think “Huh. I wrote that?” It is like pulling a rabbit out of a hat and knowing that there never was a rabbit in the hat. Now you ask "Where did the rabbit come from?" And I answer "Where do you see a rabbit?" It is like Guishan's noumenal ground of reality that does not admit a single particle. It’s also like the gate officially not allowing even a needle, but privately allowing horses and carriages through.
Insight into the nature of reality is inherent and recursive. It doesn't come from anywhere in particular, and is of the same substance as that nature. The mind simply merges back into the Source when free of all fabrication and artifice. Which is a way of saying that it returns to factory settings and realizes itself as Source. There is no structural or theoretical framework or model that can contain this insight. The Source partakes of no qualities other than its own nondual primordial essence. Reality does not seek and does not obtain reality [Baizhang] because it is what it is.
